19 days ago I found out I was pregnant. I had a miscarriage 2 days later. For 2 days I finally felt like I was moving forward, maybe even healed just a little bit. It took me a very long time to be able to try and have another child. I have never felt ready to take this step until about a year ago. When I stood in the bathroom in the very early morning hours and realized what was happening my heart broke all over again, excatly what I was afraid of. What we have been trying so hard for was now gone. In that moment I said to myself this just wasn't meant to be.
This is a lonely place to be. I feel broken. I feel incredibly sad. Most of all I feel terribly afraid to try again, because maybe having more children is just not meant to be......
