tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16590548575439976762024-03-13T07:49:05.137-05:00Mama's Doing Laundrybe happy for this moment.....
this moment is your lifeMelissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249334460736739321noreply@blogger.comBlogger51125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659054857543997676.post-66526410538874799512011-07-10T23:15:00.000-05:002011-07-10T23:15:28.829-05:00Letting go<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><em>Letting go of someone you love is the most difficult decision one has to make. 7 years ago I had to say goodbye to Olivia. I wish I could say this day gets a little easier as the years go by, but I would be lying if I did. As I stood at her grave today I felt an overwhelming amount of sadnees & anxiety. This anniversary seemed a bit harder than the last few years. Maybe it's because we have added to our family. I think it hit me really hard how incomplete our family is without Olivia here. As I walked back to the car tears just poured down my face. It was like I was having a flashback to the day I had to leave the hospital for the last time and it was without Olivia. We made the choice 7 years ago to let Olivia go. I knew that it was time. That we had tried everything we possibly could. She had done the absolute best she could. 12 hours before she died I told her it was ok to let go. That we would be ok.</em></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><em>In my heart I know we made the right choice, but it doesn't make this day any easier. </em></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
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</div>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249334460736739321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659054857543997676.post-32621532486995421222011-07-07T15:57:00.001-05:002011-07-07T15:59:25.604-05:00Biopsy<em>Madison had a biopsy yesterday for the cyst that they found when she broke her arm several weeks ago. It was an outpatient procedure but it did require that Madison be put under. She did great! We will hopefully have the results by late next week.</em><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uP-4I7OLonY/ThYeFGnvAiI/AAAAAAAAAPA/0jw8YL_y454/s1600/IMG_0447%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" m$="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uP-4I7OLonY/ThYeFGnvAiI/AAAAAAAAAPA/0jw8YL_y454/s320/IMG_0447%255B1%255D.JPG" width="239" /></a></div><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/281/00230B87B562AE20E9C84B319BCB6771.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249334460736739321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659054857543997676.post-89585274653113056362011-07-07T15:39:00.001-05:002011-07-07T15:44:01.245-05:00Disney World<em>For Maddy's 10th birthday she got a very special gift. My mom treated us to a trip to Disney World. Our trip was fantastic! Maddy & Charlotte did great the whole trip from the plane rides to all the walking and warm weather. The kids got to swim in a beautiful pool at the resort and we also were able to visit a Disney water park which was awesome! Charlotte loves the water(thank goodness). We were so lucky to go on this trip and we can't thank my mom enough for such a wonderful gift and the awesome memories to go along with it. </em><br />
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<em>Hope you enjoy the pictures</em><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ltduZONPAJM/ThYZaBoIWLI/AAAAAAAAAOo/uvVs9krsZRk/s1600/DSCN1226%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" m$="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ltduZONPAJM/ThYZaBoIWLI/AAAAAAAAAOo/uvVs9krsZRk/s320/DSCN1226%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/281/00230B87B562AE20E9C84B319BCB6771.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249334460736739321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659054857543997676.post-3512297455810163942011-07-07T14:20:00.000-05:002011-07-07T14:20:27.247-05:00I'm back!<em>Oh my goodness. I'm sorry I've been terrible at keeping up with this blog. We have been without a computer for quite some time and well Miss Charlotte keeps me VERY busy :) And blogger has not been my friend the last few days as I try to update. </em><br />
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<em>My goal for today is to get caught up! </em><br />
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<em>Lots of cute pics to come :)</em><br />
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<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><em>Here's a sneak peak at the cuteness!</em></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-S69jbC64Z5Y/ThYGddFvvAI/AAAAAAAAANo/_cSZpHB6y20/s1600/IMG_0416%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" m$="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-S69jbC64Z5Y/ThYGddFvvAI/AAAAAAAAANo/_cSZpHB6y20/s320/IMG_0416%255B1%255D.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249334460736739321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659054857543997676.post-17476230444834945662011-05-28T21:52:00.000-05:002011-05-28T21:52:55.707-05:006 months old<em>Charlotte Grace turned 6 months old today. She is getting so big and is ready to be on the move. </em><br />
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<em>6 month check up-</em><br />
<em>16 pounds 13 ounces(75%)</em><br />
<em>26 1/4 inches long(75%)</em><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RLQOKinuLAA/TeG04lif1FI/AAAAAAAAAMs/0cIAXl1pJiE/s1600/IMG_0035%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RLQOKinuLAA/TeG04lif1FI/AAAAAAAAAMs/0cIAXl1pJiE/s320/IMG_0035%255B1%255D.JPG" t8="true" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/281/00230B87B562AE20E9C84B319BCB6771.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249334460736739321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659054857543997676.post-44524524029712815502011-04-28T22:04:00.000-05:002011-04-28T22:04:16.250-05:005 months oldCharlotte Grace turned 5 months old today!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tTzBOjhxvY4/TboqlLHreII/AAAAAAAAAMo/XQ36l6OKOzs/s1600/DSCF1787%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" j8="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tTzBOjhxvY4/TboqlLHreII/AAAAAAAAAMo/XQ36l6OKOzs/s320/DSCF1787%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Time seems to be flying by. Charlotte is keeping us very busy these days. She is growing like a weed. She weighed in yesterday at 15 pounds 10 ounces and 25 1/2 inches long. Charlotte is still not sleeping well and naps pretty much don't exsist in this house :( But her smile makes up for all the sleepless nights. <br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/281/00230B87B562AE20E9C84B319BCB6771.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249334460736739321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659054857543997676.post-76266553371426544512011-03-30T10:17:00.000-05:002011-03-30T10:17:51.384-05:004 months old<em>Sorry this is a few days late. It's been a little hectic around here with Maddy and her broken arm & Charlotte being a little bit fussy. </em><br />
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<em>Charlotte turned 4 months old on 03/28/11</em><br />
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<em>13 pounds 11 oz</em><br />
<em>25 inches long</em><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-81V1pL1APvI/TZNJcgbsvNI/AAAAAAAAAMk/f3_gBWdJios/s1600/DSCF1711%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" r6="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-81V1pL1APvI/TZNJcgbsvNI/AAAAAAAAAMk/f3_gBWdJios/s320/DSCF1711%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/281/00230B87B562AE20E9C84B319BCB6771.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249334460736739321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659054857543997676.post-27367390999572431852011-03-27T22:54:00.001-05:002011-03-27T22:54:07.794-05:00Maddy's rough weekendMaddy has officially broken her first bone :(<br />
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I got a call Saturday afternoon that Maddy had fallen off a skateboard at her friend's house. David, myself & Charlotte drove over immediately to our friend's Tina & CJ's house to find Maddy VERY upset & in a LOT of pain. We decided it was best to head over to Children's ER & have them check her out. Thank goodness we did! Maddy broke her humerous bone. It's the bone in-between your elbow & shoulder. Ouch!!! When the looked at the x-ray they also discovered a cyst on her bone. This is where I really started to sweat & feel sick to my stomach. They could not confirm at that time if it was a tumor, just a benign cyst or anything for that matter. The ortho surgeon came in and thought it was best to do a CT scan & get a better look. Maddy got an IV & morphine(2doses) and they placed a temporary mold on her right arm. Then it was off to CT. She did great through all of it!! We were discharged without any CT scan results because it was not only a weekend but night time too. I got a call this afternoon from our pediatrician and she got the CT scan results. What Maddy has is a unicermal bone cyst( I think that is the correct spelling, I'm typing in bed & I am to lazy to go find my post it with the correct spelling!!. It's non cancerous and nothing to really worry about. It occurs in kids from ages 5-15 years old. There is a slight possibility Maddy would need to have it removed but that is up to the ortho surgeon. We have an appt for this Thursday with the surgeon to get Maddy's more permanent cast. She will have to wear it for 6-8 weeks. I believe Maddy is actually getting a splint instead of a cast because of where the broken bone is. Maddy slept great last night, thanks to the morphine & Norco. She was up & moving around today but still very very sore & tired. she's going to try & go to school in the morning but we will have to see how she feels. I don't think she will ever skateboard again!! ;)<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/281/00230B87B562AE20E9C84B319BCB6771.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249334460736739321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659054857543997676.post-81162424927448312512011-03-21T21:34:00.000-05:002011-03-21T21:34:09.848-05:00Colic sucks!<em>Just thought I'd stop by and apolgize for being a terrible blogger. But sweet little Charlotte has terrible colic and well I don't get much time to do anything. Right now she is in my lap and is fussy, VERY fussy! If colic wasn't bad enough she has terrible reflux too. Poor thing, I will be calling the GI doctor in the morning to see if we can try a new medicine, Zantac is just not enough :(</em><br />
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<em>Charlotte has her 4 month check up on Friday morning. Can you believe she is almost 4 months old??? </em><br />
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<em>Hope everyone has good night, sleep a little extra for me! :)</em><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/281/00230B87B562AE20E9C84B319BCB6771.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249334460736739321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659054857543997676.post-7034065865096650472011-02-28T15:03:00.000-06:002011-02-28T15:03:09.116-06:003 monthsCharlotte Grace is 3 months old today. She is such a love bug. I can't believe she is 3 months old already. I wish I could slow down time and that she would stay this little forever! <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-tuXEaycrKt4/TWwNeyo9BeI/AAAAAAAAAMY/na4M6RwMfOI/s1600/DSCF1636%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" l6="true" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-tuXEaycrKt4/TWwNeyo9BeI/AAAAAAAAAMY/na4M6RwMfOI/s320/DSCF1636%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/281/00230B87B562AE20E9C84B319BCB6771.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249334460736739321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659054857543997676.post-47364780085227761472011-01-09T22:00:00.000-06:002011-01-09T22:00:29.050-06:00One Month<em>December 28, 2010</em><br />
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<em>Charlotte Grace at one month old</em><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/TSqEEdweBEI/AAAAAAAAAMM/GXT7lM1U9SM/s1600/DSCF1462%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" n4="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/TSqEEdweBEI/AAAAAAAAAMM/GXT7lM1U9SM/s320/DSCF1462%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/281/00230B87B562AE20E9C84B319BCB6771.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249334460736739321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659054857543997676.post-21763699456140657542011-01-09T21:38:00.000-06:002011-01-09T21:38:52.396-06:00sisters<em>My heart melts every time the girls curl up together. Madison has been such a great big sister to Charlotte. She loves to spend time with her and helps me change diapers and feeds her too! How lucky am I? Look at how cute they are :)</em><br />
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<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/TSp-a_BFhII/AAAAAAAAAMA/QASaoIAGr8Y/s1600/DSCF1337%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" n4="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/TSp-a_BFhII/AAAAAAAAAMA/QASaoIAGr8Y/s320/DSCF1337%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/TSp-1g3VV1I/AAAAAAAAAME/JsGdk8eXH7U/s1600/DSCF1434%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" n4="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/TSp-1g3VV1I/AAAAAAAAAME/JsGdk8eXH7U/s320/DSCF1434%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/TSp_HNVIKyI/AAAAAAAAAMI/8j8aS3a-Ppk/s1600/DSCF1485%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" n4="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/TSp_HNVIKyI/AAAAAAAAAMI/8j8aS3a-Ppk/s320/DSCF1485%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/281/00230B87B562AE20E9C84B319BCB6771.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a></div>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249334460736739321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659054857543997676.post-74702583491486341342011-01-09T21:14:00.000-06:002011-01-09T21:14:51.392-06:00Charlotte Grace<em>On November 28, 2010 at 10:24am we welcomed Charlotte Grace into our family. She weighed in at 6lbs 12oz and was 19 inches long. She had a beautiful head of dark brown hair and the cutest chubby checks! I had the best delivery anyone could ever as for. </em><br />
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<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><em>Charlotte was born 5 weeks premature. Since Charlotte was arriving early the NICU was called for delivery. Charlotte was having a little trouble breathing and wasn't quite responding the way they would like her to. They worked on her for about 30 minutes and then allowed me to hold her for another 30 minutes to see if she would transition a little better. After that 30 mintues with me she was really grunting and working extra hard so the NICU team decided it was best for Charlotte to head to the NICU for observation. The next 24 hours was a roller coaster. Charlotte ended up having premature lungs, pneumonia and pulmonary hypertension. She was intubated and put on high dose antibiotics. She spent 22 days in the NICU and came home December 20, 2010. </em></div><br />
<em>We've been home for 3 weeks now and things are going great. She is such a love. </em><br />
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<em>I promise to be a better blogger and keep everyone updated!</em><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/TSp5XKhtSoI/AAAAAAAAALk/x_vlqVmu2jo/s1600/DSCF1338%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" n4="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/TSp5XKhtSoI/AAAAAAAAALk/x_vlqVmu2jo/s320/DSCF1338%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></a><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/281/00230B87B562AE20E9C84B319BCB6771.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a></div>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249334460736739321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659054857543997676.post-54914691103330974972010-10-01T20:34:00.000-05:002010-10-01T20:34:05.648-05:007<em>7 years ago today I gave birth to the sweetest little girl in the whole world. She had the cubbiest checks and had a head full of dark hair. She was just what I had always dreamed of. She completed our family. </em><br />
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<em>Never did I imagine back then that our lives would change so quickly and that everything we thought we had we eventually be taken away. We never got a chance to celebrate her 1st birthday. </em><br />
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<em>Olivia turning 7 years old seems so strange. Seems almost impossible. What would she look like? Would she be anything like Madison? These past few days have been a roller coaster of emotions. I've had overwhelming feelings of guilt and sadness but also some really happy and sweet memories have warmed my heart. We miss her more than ever. I will be forever grateful for the time we had together. </em><br />
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<em>Happy Birthday Olivia! </em><br />
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<em>We love you,</em><br />
<em>Mommy, Daddy & Maddy</em><br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/281/00230B87B562AE20E9C84B319BCB6771.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249334460736739321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659054857543997676.post-50799233776454505242010-09-30T11:58:00.000-05:002010-09-30T11:58:58.875-05:00playing catch up<em>I've been such a bad blogger! Where have the last few months gone? Summer flew by. I can't believe it's almost October. It's my absolute favortie time of year. I LOVE FALL!!! </em><br />
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<em>We had pretty laid back summer. We spent lots of time at the pool and Madison made some friends on our block so she had a great time being able to play with them a few times a week. Madison and I were able to end our summer with a great trip to Flordia with my mom. It was just what we needed. </em><br />
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<em>Madison has been in school for 3 weeks now and seems to be doing pretty well. We are back into a routine and it feels great! This past Monday Madison started a dance class through school. She was so excited to be accepted into the program and absolutly loves it! </em><br />
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<em>I will be 27 weeks pregnant on Saturday. I know that I haven't offically written about it on the blog but really the only people that read the blog are my friends and family. And well all of you know! :)</em><br />
<em>I've been super lucky that the pregnancy is going well and have had no complications. I have to be honest, I really didn't write about it because I didn't quite feel comfortable talking about it. I was afraid of jinxing it or that if I talked about it something bad might happen. Silly I know, but after all that we have been through I am a little terrified. But I try to remind myself on a daily basis(sometimes on an hourly basis) that the past is the past and I need to look forward to the future and trust that this time will be different. Somedays are easier than others. In my heart I know it will all be ok. </em><br />
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<em>Happy Fall!</em><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/281/00230B87B562AE20E9C84B319BCB6771.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249334460736739321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659054857543997676.post-107671253824881452010-06-17T12:52:00.000-05:002010-06-17T12:52:52.097-05:00100 things that make me happy<em>I can across a blog that posted this. I decided to give it a try. I have a lot to be thankful for. Sometimes our lives get so busy we forgot about the things that make us happy. I'm glad I wrote this. When I'm having a bad day or things aren't quite going the way I'd like them too I can look at this and remember I have many reasons to be happy. Give it a try! I can't wait to read yours.</em> <br />
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<em>1. Madison's big blue eyes</em><br />
<em>2. Olivia's chubby cheeks</em><br />
<em>3. holding my girls for the very first time</em><br />
<em>4. the smell of fresh flowers</em><br />
<em>5. Oberwise chocolate milk shakes</em><br />
<em>6. Cubs games at Wrigley Field</em><br />
<em>7. sitting on the rocks down by Lake Michigan</em><br />
<em>8. watching the Real Housewives </em><br />
<em>9. chips & ranch dressing from Chili's</em><br />
<em>10. watching Madison ride her bike</em><br />
<em>11. taking a puppy home</em><br />
<em>12. riding the whizzer with Madison at Great America</em><br />
<em>13. hoping one day to look like a Kardashian :)</em><br />
<em>14. tiny baby feet</em><br />
<em>15. dinner with a girlfriend</em><br />
<em>16. pictures of Madison & Olivia</em><br />
<em>17. working in the ER</em><br />
<em>18. holding my girlfriends babies for the first time</em><br />
<em>19. homemade cupcakes</em><br />
<em>20. first snow of the winter</em><br />
<em>21. reading a good book</em><br />
<em>22. getting a haircut & color</em><br />
<em>23. seeing David hold his daughters for the first time</em><br />
<em>24. fresh strawberries & pineapple</em><br />
<em>25. shopping for a new outfit</em><br />
<em>26. being at my cousin's house in New Jeresy</em><br />
<em>27. watching the sunset</em><br />
<em>28. gettting a manicure & pedicure</em><br />
<em>29. listening to Madison read a book out loud</em><br />
<em>30. rainy days</em><br />
<em>31. finding out that a friend is expecting</em><br />
<em>32. cheese fries from the Outback</em><br />
<em>33. afternoon naps</em><br />
<em>34. a clean house</em><br />
<em>35. when a dinner you've never made turns out great</em><br />
<em>36. swirl margarita's from Uncle Julio's</em><br />
<em>39. seeing a baby come into the world</em><br />
<em>40. my iPhone</em><br />
<em>41. fresh laundry </em><br />
<em>42. a massage</em><br />
<em>43. laughing so hard you cry</em><br />
<em>44. the color of leaves in the fall</em><br />
<em>45. being able to look at a friend and know excatly what they are thinking </em><br />
<em>46. Ella calling Madison- Mat Mat</em><br />
<em>47. watching Madison swim</em><br />
<em>48. thunderstorms</em><br />
<em>49. pepsi</em><br />
<em>50. when David makes dinner</em><br />
<em>51. the thought of one day becoming a runner</em><br />
<em>52. my laptop</em><br />
<em>53. the smell of the ocean</em><br />
<em>54. fireworks on the 4th of July</em><br />
<em>55. warm brownies</em><br />
<em>56. Gap jeans</em><br />
<em>57. watching Madison open gifts on Christmas morning</em><br />
<em>58. listening to Madison sign along with her iPod</em><br />
<em>59. when David gets home from work each night</em><br />
<em>60. having family & friends that I can always count on</em><br />
<em>61</em>. <em>tulips</em><br />
<em>62. all you can eat at Fogo de Chao</em><br />
<em>63. trying on shoes at Nordstrom</em><br />
<em>64. spending the day in my pj's</em><br />
<em>65. living in the city</em><br />
<em>66. Madison's freckles</em><br />
<em>67. my Uggs</em><br />
<em>68. David's homemade funnel cake</em><br />
<em>69. a carriage ride downtown</em><br />
<em>70. when the dogs know David is almost home & they sit in the window to wait</em><br />
<em>71. watching Madison swing at the park</em><br />
<em>72. shopping at Costco</em><br />
<em>73. a glass of champagne</em><br />
<em>74. Target</em><br />
<em>75. 1st day of school</em><br />
<em>76. trips to Minnesota</em><br />
<em>77. snuggling in bed with Madison</em><br />
<em>78. watching a good movie</em><br />
<em>79. a big purse</em><br />
<em>80. sangria & tapas</em><br />
<em>81. knowing that tomorrow is a new day</em><br />
<em>82. texting with girlfriends</em><br />
<em>83. sitting outside at O'Donovan's having a few cocktails and a great dinner</em><br />
<em>84. watching football with David on Sundays</em><br />
<em>85. a cold crisp fall night</em><br />
<em>86. sleeping in</em><br />
<em>87. a cashmere scarf</em><br />
<em>88. singing in the car</em><br />
<em>89. my wedding ring</em><br />
<em>90. cookie day with the girls</em><br />
<em>91. a big hug from Madison</em><br />
<em>92. breakfast in bed</em><br />
<em>93. bike rides</em><br />
<em>94. getting my eyebrows done</em><br />
<em>95. flip flops</em><br />
<em>96. seeing the dogs curled up with Madison in bed</em><br />
<em>97. homemade soup</em><br />
<em>98. play dates</em><br />
<em>99. the smell of lilac bushes</em><br />
<em>100. falling asleep next to the one you love</em><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/281/00230B87B562AE20E9C84B319BCB6771.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249334460736739321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659054857543997676.post-21914869975938204182010-06-10T22:06:00.000-05:002010-06-10T22:06:49.840-05:00Happy 9th Birthday!<em>Maddy turned 9 years old today. I can't believe my sweet little 5lb premature baby is 9! Where has the time gone? There aren't enough words to describe how much I love my girl. She is my everything and I am so proud of the young lady that she is becoming. I am very lucky she chose me to be her mom! </em><br />
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<em>We are celebrating her birthday on Saturday with family & friends. She is looking forward to playing with her cousins and friends. </em><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/281/00230B87B562AE20E9C84B319BCB6771.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249334460736739321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659054857543997676.post-89668312689942212282010-05-10T17:30:00.000-05:002010-05-10T17:30:57.503-05:00Mother's Day 2010<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/S-iHatue6NI/AAAAAAAAALQ/iiyWACf1EiM/s1600/DSCN0993%5B1%5D" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/S-iHatue6NI/AAAAAAAAALQ/iiyWACf1EiM/s320/DSCN0993%5B1%5D" tt="true" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/281/00230B87B562AE20E9C84B319BCB6771.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a></div>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249334460736739321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659054857543997676.post-14843850018599844262010-04-28T21:45:00.000-05:002010-04-28T21:45:42.461-05:00Wordless Wednesday<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Today Madison finally took off on her bike with no training wheels! </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/S9jyc9VPXnI/AAAAAAAAALA/1chTFccvTtY/s1600/DSCN0987%5B1%5D" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/S9jyc9VPXnI/AAAAAAAAALA/1chTFccvTtY/s320/DSCN0987%5B1%5D" tt="true" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/S9jyqu0RP8I/AAAAAAAAALI/5xrqojipaL8/s1600/DSCN0984%5B1%5D" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/S9jyqu0RP8I/AAAAAAAAALI/5xrqojipaL8/s320/DSCN0984%5B1%5D" tt="true" /></a><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/281/00230B87B562AE20E9C84B319BCB6771.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a></div>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249334460736739321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659054857543997676.post-40860770156597078992010-04-18T19:57:00.002-05:002010-04-18T20:40:28.704-05:00Maddy, Ella & Molly<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/S8upG_mPuyI/AAAAAAAAAKg/Q_R4jHfx84k/s1600/DSCN0947%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/S8upG_mPuyI/AAAAAAAAAKg/Q_R4jHfx84k/s320/DSCN0947%5B1%5D.JPG" wt="true" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/S8up3InaRCI/AAAAAAAAAK4/PfyXvizESzM/s1600/DSCN0932%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/S8up3InaRCI/AAAAAAAAAK4/PfyXvizESzM/s320/DSCN0932%5B1%5D.JPG" wt="true" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/S8upcdxnXLI/AAAAAAAAAKo/WxmvTwpkGts/s1600/DSCN0929%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/S8upcdxnXLI/AAAAAAAAAKo/WxmvTwpkGts/s320/DSCN0929%5B1%5D.JPG" wt="true" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/S8uptp3APaI/AAAAAAAAAKw/Ip4p1ZB7_u0/s1600/DSCN0931%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/S8uptp3APaI/AAAAAAAAAKw/Ip4p1ZB7_u0/s320/DSCN0931%5B1%5D.JPG" wt="true" /></a><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/281/00230B87B562AE20E9C84B319BCB6771.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a><em></em></div>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249334460736739321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659054857543997676.post-8613381571429278942010-04-18T19:49:00.000-05:002010-04-18T19:49:44.173-05:00go CUBS go!Madison is finally starting to feel better. We were able to head down to Wrigley and enjoy an awesome Friday afternoon of sun and baseball. Cubs win!<br />
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This weekend we did some shopping and spent some time with my mom, grandma and Aunt Colleen. We had a great dinner at The Bagel @ Old Orchard and went home to play a few games of UNO. <br />
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Good weekend. Hope everyone had a good one too!</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/S8unw4xut5I/AAAAAAAAAKQ/zGQuyNHcON0/s1600/DSCN0978%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/S8unw4xut5I/AAAAAAAAAKQ/zGQuyNHcON0/s320/DSCN0978%5B1%5D.JPG" wt="true" /></a><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/S8uoBEMEA2I/AAAAAAAAAKY/-h3S-6sbVKA/s1600/DSCN0983%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZErUvweIZaY/S8uoBEMEA2I/AAAAAAAAAKY/-h3S-6sbVKA/s320/DSCN0983%5B1%5D.JPG" wt="true" /></a></div><em></em><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/281/00230B87B562AE20E9C84B319BCB6771.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a></div>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249334460736739321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659054857543997676.post-85235459614044674682010-04-14T19:48:00.000-05:002010-04-14T19:48:43.916-05:00of course it's strep!<em>Madison isn't feeling to good these days. Last week on Tuesday she woke up with a nasty 24 hour flu bug. She stayed home from school Tuesday & Wednesday. Today she woke up with a fever of 101.7 and a terrible sore throat. After a trip to the doctor to confirm strep throat we headed to the pharmacy and picked up her prescription and maybe the 10th bottle of Gatorade we have bought in the last week. She is feeling pretty bad tonight and is already fast asleep. We are hoping she feels better by Friday, we have cubs tickets!!! Keep your fingers crossed, she loves to go to the games as much as we do. </em><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/281/00230B87B562AE20E9C84B319BCB6771.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249334460736739321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659054857543997676.post-45033822808143918302010-04-08T22:56:00.000-05:002010-04-08T22:56:40.084-05:00close<em>Tonight was HL. It was a special night because a family was closing. They were saying goodbye for now and are starting a new journey, a new life in a new place. As we sat around in a circle tonight and said our goodbyes I was struck by how much each one of these people in this room helps the other. This was a special family saying goodbye. A military family. They endured a termendous amount of heartbreak and sadness. Their sweet child was so special & so loved. She loved to sing and dance and especially loved her mama's pancakes! The mom had wonderful stories about her little girl and when she told them you felt as if you were there in that moment with them. I learned a lot from them and will hang on to everything I learned for a very long time. I'm sure it was very difficult to close the door on this chapter of their lives and set out on a new journey. My last thought when I left group tonight was I hope that their sweet little girl found my baby girl and showed her how to dance...... </em><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/281/00230B87B562AE20E9C84B319BCB6771.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249334460736739321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659054857543997676.post-40784726701240240852010-04-06T14:14:00.000-05:002010-04-06T14:14:12.780-05:00moving forward<em> I need to move forward. I feel like I have sat here and life has just moved past me. I've been stuck in grief, in pain, in silence and stuck in the most unbelievable sadness one could ever imagine. I'm angry. I'm hurt. I have spent the last 6 years not saying any of that out loud. </em><br />
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<em>Grief is complicated. It takes over your life. I've tried for a long time to over come it. To move past it. Therapy didn't excatly work for me(maybe I never found the right therapist for me, I'm a huge believer in therapy and I will try again with a new therapist), I still attend a bereavement group twice a month and I try on a daily basis to be happy. I try very very hard not to feel sorry for myself. Even though Olivia died I know how lucky I am to have had her, even if it was for just a short time. I now understand that grief will be with me for the rest of my life and I'm learning each day how to deal with that. It's taken me quite a while to come to terms with that. It sucks, but it's reality.</em><br />
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<em>The pain of losing a child is overwhemling. It's something that I can't explain. Something that I never want anyone else to ever have to go through or feel. Some days the pain is worse than others. You can't predict what a day will be like. You learn to somewhat expect the worst and hope for an easy day. </em><br />
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<em>Over the last few weeks I've been doing a lot of thinking. I need to make some changes. I need to let go of my anger. I need people around me that love me and are there for me. I need to feel like I belong somewhere. I need to be able to breath and it not feel like I'm choking. I need to believe that I derserve to be happy.</em><br />
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<em>I need to heal.</em><br />
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<em>Today I am ready to move forward. </em><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/281/00230B87B562AE20E9C84B319BCB6771.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249334460736739321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1659054857543997676.post-90838560649587871712010-03-09T16:23:00.000-06:002010-03-09T16:23:07.106-06:00Not meant to be<em>I've come to realize there are many things in life that are not meant to be. I have heard these 4 words more than I'd like to, and more than ever in the last 2 weeks. And I've actaully said these 4 words a lot lately. But the reality is I HATE these 4 words! I wish this statement didn't exsist. Plain and simple it makes me sad. </em><br />
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<em>19 days ago I found out I was pregnant. I had a miscarriage 2 days later. For 2 days I finally felt like I was moving forward, maybe even healed just a little bit. It took me a very long time to be able to try and have another child. I have never felt ready to take this step until about a year ago. When I stood in the bathroom in the very early morning hours and realized what was happening my heart broke all over again, excatly what I was afraid of. What we have been trying so hard for was now gone. In that moment I said to myself this just wasn't meant to be. </em><br />
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<em>This is a lonely place to be. I feel broken. I feel incredibly sad. Most of all I feel terribly afraid to try again, because maybe having more children is just not meant to be......</em><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/281/00230B87B562AE20E9C84B319BCB6771.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249334460736739321noreply@blogger.com5